Do you pass judgements on people all around you on every small and big incident? Suppose, your sibling enthusiastically shows you his/her latest music collection and at the back of your mind, you just think what a horrible music taste he/she has developed. If a young couple were walking leisurely on the road one a fine breezy evening and suddenly one of them spits on the road, would you consider that individual is horribly unpolished? Suppose, a friend buys a brand new car and on hearing this, you start wondering he/she must be involved in something greasy because at his/her salary-scale, affording such an expensive car is absurd.
Smart ass versus dumb ass in you
Do you know what each of these thoughts indicates? Let’s be straight; it doesn’t say what a smart-ass you’re in making such logical deductions, effortlessly, to reach the crude truth. Rather than exposing your intelligence in deciphering the truth, this mindset of judging others almost every time reveals you’re NOT in love with yourself. Instead of being judgemental about your sibling’s choice of music, you should rather feel proud that the individual has developed as a music lover. Spitting in public is a tradition, that enriches the contemporary Indian culture and you should rather not judge a stranger, in a split second, by that single act alone. Someone doesn’t necessarily need to be involved in greasy activities to afford a better life. You don’t know, maybe he/she has suddenly inherited a fortune from his/her parents or is slogging over a part-time job to pull in extra resources.
Unfortunately, the cases of over-judgemental mindset are rapidly increasing in the society in the present times. Whenever you unnecessarily judge others, or feel your button is automatically being triggered by the things they do or say, you’re unknowingly projecting your feelings on them. This condition stems from a chain of dissatisfaction, rooted deeply in your mind. If you think, passing a judgement or two on a stranger on the street is no big deal, as far as you’re not involving your near and dear ones into it, you’re mistaken again. Apparently, being judgemental on a stranger has no serious implication to your deteriorating mental health. But, today, tomorrow or the day after, this may make your friends feel completely pissed off with you and then, they may start avoiding you.
The fear of ‘rejection’
When you are unnecessarily being judgemental of others, you’re accusing them of those very things that you either disown or reject about yourself. Almost every fear that man confronts, gets triggered by the feeling of rejection. At least in two out of the three instances given above, the fear of being rejected plays the vital role in your mind. Consciously or sub-consciously, you’re aware about that fear existing in your mind but you’re yet to acknowledge that truth. In the other instance involving a stranger, your judgemental nature reveals your keenness and longing to be into one of that couple’s shoes.
To get rid of this problem, you just need to be brave enough to face the truth. You face it once and that nagging over-judgemental attitude you’ve will vanish away almost in no time. Instead of nurturing ideas like the every other soul, other than you, is callous and unscrupulous, better you should think:
I feel being rejected and this feeling just scares me off
To put it in simple words, when you fail to acknowledge your inner-most feelings or accept an undeniable truth about yourself, for whatsoever reason, it shows deep down you just do NOT love yourself. When you’re not in love with yourself, you can never ever get in touch with peace inside your soul nor can find peace in the world around you.
Fall in love once……with yourself
Just start loving yourself and accept all those feelings about yourself that reside at the bottom of your heart. All imperfections and grumbling that’re there inside will subside. Amidst the maddening rush in this severely materialistic world, it is important that you get in touch with your core feelings. Make the effort to connect through to yourself. Be (more) sensitive to both your mind and heart and understand what they want and need. Once you achieve this, you won’t have to project your feelings on others.
The positive transformation inside you will occur on its own.